Better Days
by Little Blue Fairy
Summary: Set in the seventh year of Lily and James at Hogwarts. Starts with Lily joining the Order of the Phoenix and James struggling with her decision. What happens when he tries to stop her?
1. Just A Girl

**I own only my creativity. Slightly AU since Lily and James aren't supposed to join the Order until after they graduate. Anyways, almost each chapter is inspired by a song and has a line from that song in the chapter. This Chapter was inspired by Just A Girl by No Doubt. The story was inspired by Better by Goo Goo Dolls.**

"I want to join. I know about the Order of the Phoenix and there is no point in denying it exists." Lily stated her body tense as if she was getting ready for battle. Dumbledore studied her over his glasses.

"How did you come to learn of the Order?" He questioned after he decided there was no point in denying it.

"I have classmates and friends in the Order and I believe that they are not the only ones that can help. Let me join my friends. You know that I will join this fight either way. If something happened to my family while I just sit on the sidelines I would not be able to forgive myself.

"Each new member must be voted in. I will have to ask them first." Lily nodded.

"Thank you, sir." Lily's body relaxed visibly then turned and returned to her dorm. Dumbledore wrote out letters telling the members of the witch who would hopefully join their ranks.

"What is he thinking?" exclaimed James. Sirius and Remus opened their letters, wondering what James was yelling about.

"She is the top of our class," Remus pointed out after skimming the note.

"That does not give her the right to join up. She should not be putting herself in danger like this." James growled

"James, she is not the first girl to join." Sirius tried to reason with James.

"She is a distraction. She will most likely get someone killed or get hurt." James ran a hand through his hair as he tried to get control of his emotions.

"She is too talented for the Order not to vote her in." Remus put his hand on James' shoulder, "You might be the only one to vote no."

"It will be okay, mate. We will just have to make sure her partner is one of the best so you don't have to worry about her." Sirius knew he would have to watch out for James more; he didn't want his best friend and partner hurt.

"Maybe I can talk some sense into her." James sighed. He knew his friends were right but that did not mean he would just let this go.

"Lily," James walked towards her as she stepped out into the daylight. "Could I talk to you?" He looked at her group of friends, "Alone if possible."

"Of course," Lily nodded at him and she smiled good bye to her friends. "Is this about head duties?" James shook his head but did not start until he knew they were alone.

"Ah, no actually I heard about your petition to join." Lily's lips tugged into a small smile as she tilted her head to one side.

"I had a notion that you were in it already. So what about my petition?" James drew a deep breath but suddenly found that he could not start a tirade. He had made a truce with Lily at the beginning of the year and he was sure Lily would not look kindly on him telling her what to do. Maybe if he tried something less direct.

"Why do you want in? I mean, it does not seem like your cup of tea." Lily scoffed.

"Since when do I prefer just to sit back and let others take care of everything?" James glared at Lily for making such a flippant comment.

"This is not group work for a class, Lily. This is people dying, getting hurt and tortured. That is no place for you."

"No place for me? What is that supposed to mean? That just because I am a girl you have to hold my hand? This world is no place for the damsel in distress, just for the arrogant knight in shinning armor, is that what you are saying? I did not decide to do this on a whim. I cannot just close my eyes to what is happening. Maybe you think I am not good enough or strong enough, but I will be. I will prove you wrong, Potter." Lily turned quickly and left James standing there.

"That could have gone better." Sirius stepped out from behind part of the wall as he folded up the map that had led him to James. He had hoped to get here in time to stop James, knowing that James would likely make Lily mad.

"I am not in the mood Sirius. She thinks that I see her as not good enough but that is not true. I do not want her seeing me as a prick just because I cannot imagine what it would do to me to see her even hurt, let alone tortured or killed." James sighed and crossed his arms.

"She will not listen to you now, that is a fact. Maybe someday you can explain it to her without putting your foot in your mouth." Sirius smiled and then nodded to the tree several yards away where Remus and Peter were now waiting.


	2. What's Good For Me

**I only own my creativity. Enjoy the new chapter. This Chapter was inspired by What's Good For Me by Lucy Woodward.**

"Lily, wait up," Alice called after her friend. Lily turned reluctantly towards Alice. "What did James do this time? I can tell he upset you so spit it out before you explode."

"Potter just got on my bad side, you know the typical great conversations we have all the time." Alice frowned.

"I thought that he stopped asking you out." Lily rolled her eyes.

"I almost wish that was the problem." Lily saw Alice's eyes widen and realized what she just said sounded like to her friend. Lily continued, "I am not saying that I would welcome his advances, but at least I could have dealt with that then yelling at him like I did." Lily sighed and collapsed onto a nearby bench. "I mean, then it would be impersonal or Potter being immature. He was immature but what he said..." Lily's thoughts trailed off. Alice sat down next to her friend.

"Lily, I could help you much better if you started making sense. What were you with James fighting about?" Lily sighed and tried to figure out what to tell and what not to tell. Even though Alice was a close friend Lily could not talk to her about the order unless she knew Alice was part of it. The members must have been told already about Lily if James knew. So Alice could not be one of the members.

"Basically, James was telling me what to do. He was telling me what I can and cannot do." Lily hoped that Alice would not pry further about the subject. Alice was silent for a moment and then she looked back at Lily.

"Alright, if we were talking about any other guy I would tell him to sod off. However, I have known him since we were five, and while you may not agree, the James Potter I know is not a cave man."

"I know, I actually thought that he had matured but then this happens." Lily's head dropped into her hands as she felt a headache forming.

"He is just trying to protect you from getting hurt Red." Remus said nonchalantly. He had walked up behind Alice and Lily as they were talking. Remus had hoped to catch Lily and mend things for James and luckily he stumbled upon the girls while they were talking about what just happened. Alice glanced at Remus after he spoke up and he nodded his head to the side, cueing Alice to leave. Remus stood behind the bench leaning on his hands that were on the back of the bench, waiting for Lily to talk.

"Remus, neither of you can expect me to sit out on the side lines while you boys go play war." Lily crossed her arms and leaned back. Remus smirked at her comment.

"Well, if we are playing war you should be playing nurse. I am sure that James would love you nursing him back to health." He said trying to lighten the subject.

"And when one of you dies, what shall I tell myself? Hey, it is okay because I am safe?" Lily looked up and he saw the tears that were threatening to spill over. Remus sat down next to Lily and put his arm around her. "That is the reason I have to do something." Lily stared at something in the distance. "I would be upset if any of my friends got hurt and I was not helping. Even if James got hurt, and you know how there are times when I would like to strangle him, I would still be upset. I do not want to live my life wondering if only I would have…" Tears were now silently running down her face. Lily tried again to control her feelings, "I could have done but I didn't…," Remus hugged Lily closer as her breath hitched and then she started to truly cry.

"Lily, we are guys and this is what we were made for. It is something that brings us to life. For a guy, even if you die, if you protect what is important to you then it is worth it. There is no price too high. I know it scares you to think of someone you know being hurt, but that is not the reason to put your self in a dangerous situation. However, if you think joining is still a good idea then you should know we will be watching out for you."

"Thank you Remus." Lily said once she had stopped crying. Remus gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and then let go.

"I warn you now that this will not be the last time James gets upset with you. So do me a favor and try to control yourself from strangling him. You know, play nice and all." Lily laughed.

"I guess I can try." Remus got up from the bench. "But that is not a promise." Lily smiled and then left to find Alice again.


	3. My Stupid Mouth

**I only own my creativity. This chapter was inspired by My Stupid Mouth by John Mayer**

Hey all readers, this will be the third chapter of this story and there are no reviews. I know I am horrible about thanking my readers but trust me I notice your input and consider your reviews when writing. Please tell me what you think! Thanks to Freakiess, MaraudingSnitch1314, and porko-pride for already making this story a favorite. Now onto the chapter.

Remus went inside Hogwarts to meet up with the guys like he said he would. He figured the best place to look for them was the kitchens since James tended to eat when he was upset. When Remus entered the kitchens and heard Sirius before he saw him, he knew he had found his friends. They were sitting at a table that was filled with sweets. Fighting with Lily brought out James' sweet tooth. Sometimes Remus wondered how much weight James would gain with he stopped playing Quidditch.

"Mate, you are such a girl," Sirius teased James as Remus sat down at the table.

"You are eating too," James growled as he scooped more ice cream. It would take a lot of food for James to get over this tiff.

"Yes, but I am not eating because I pissed off a girl!" Sirius mocked, "Besides you, I only know of girls that eat because they are upset about something."

"Well, at least you are not banging your head against the table saying what an idiot you are," Peter observed before he continued to eat. James had been hitting his head against the tree when Remus had left to talk with Lily. He had told his friends just that he had to take care of something. James would not care for his friends giving Lily insight into him. Though since Remus was friends with both Lily and James he sometimes tried to help James out.

"That is because I came up with a plan that helps me not to show what an imbecile I am." James replied sounding rather satisfied with himself. He took another bite making his friends wait for his answer. "I am going to stop talking when I am around Lily. Simple as that." Everyone but James laughed at his declaration.

"And why do you think this plan will work this time, Oh Brilliant One?" Remus said sarcastically. This was not the first time James had come up with a plan that he deemed perfect. So far not one of his plans had helped him. This however did nothing to discourage James from coming up with his next scheme on how to get Lily to put up with him. He had not needed as many plans though after he had matured, but there were still times that they got under each others skin. Just like now, when something went wrong with Lily, James went back to trying to figure out how to be in the same room and live to tell about it.

"I am never speaking up again, no more talking to Lily." James announced, "Well, at least as little as possible until I figure out how to think before speaking when near her. My stupid mouth will stay shut so that way she cannot get mad at me for making a foolish comment." James then took a huge bite of ice cream as if to somehow prove his point.

"Maybe we can figure how to install a filter so it can catch all the dumb things before you say them," Peter joked

"Or maybe James thinks Lily is attracted to the silent but strong type." Sirius taunted as he snagged a cookie and took a bite. Unfortunately he started to choke on it since he was laughing too much.

"Ha! That is what you get for making fun of my plan." James remarked as Remus slapped Sirius on the back. Sirius gasped for air and finally stopped coughing.

"At least he would die laughing," quipped Peter, "Come on lets get out of here. You have had enough sweets for today." James pouted but stood up. He took one more big spoonful of ice cream and then they all headed out of the kitchens.

"I am going to go for a run around the lake," James told his friends

"Oh yes, you need to work off all that junk you just ate." Sirius said sarcastically, "Hey don't forget we have practice tonight so pace yourself." James waved his hand acknowledging that he heard what Sirius just said and started down the corridor out to the lake.

James had been running for just over thirty minutes when he got interrupted. He heard a loud yell and turned to see Gideon and Fabian Prewett flying low on their brooms towards him. James waved as they landed a few feet from him.

"Hey you guys are a little early." James called to them, "The meeting isn't starting for hours. You know Moody will not like anyone being seen somewhere they shouldn't be."

"I guess you will just have to sneak us in before someone sees us." Gideon said as they exchanged hugs.

"So how is the year going?" Fabian asked James as they walked towards Hogwarts. James filled the two brothers who had graduated last year in on what had happened since they had left.


	4. Anything But Ordinary

**I only own my own creativity. **Anything Buy Ordinary but Avril Lavigne.

At the meeting that night...

"And so thanks to many of your quick replies we welcome tonight a new member into the Order. I am sure Lily Evans will be a great addition." Dumbledore announced. Lily smiled at everyone as they greeted her. "Miss Mckinnon will be your partner, Miss Evans, in the field but feel welcome to train with any of your fellow members. With that I call this meeting to a close. Safe journey home to all of you."

A few stayed behind to chat but many of the members left soon after Dumbledore did. Gideon and Fabian talked to her for a little before they left. Lily started to head back to her room when someone gently grabbed her elbow. She turned around and there was James. He was looking at his feet but still holding onto her. Lily knew him well enough to know he was thinking before he spoke. Finally, his hazel eyes came up and connected with hers.

"Lily, I was a jerk. You are a great witch, one of the best I know. I shouldn't be telling you what to do, we barely even tolerate each other some days. I had no right to say what I said and I am sorry. Please forgive me for sticking my foot in my mouth yet again." Lily smiled up at James and nodded.

"But only if you let me practice dueling with you and your friends." James nodded in agreement. "Good, you guys are the best I know of. Besides, Sirius has a hard time holding back when I insult him."

"I'll let you know when we plan on meeting next time. You can bring Dorcas and Marlene if you want. They may want the practice too." James offered hoping the idea would make up for the earlier argument. Lily cocked her head to one side.

"That sounds like a great idea. Thanks James. I guess I will see you in class tomorrow." James and Lily said good night and parted ways.

A Couple of Weeks Later...

"Dorcas, wait up," Lily called to her friend, "James slipped me a note in class." she said when caught up to Dorcas and Marlene

"So what does Lover Boy have to say?" Dorcas teased, "Must have been something big for you to chase us down in the hallway."

"Oh Dorcas, leave her alone. She doesn't like him that way." Marlene swatted at her friend for teasing. Lily finally caught her breath.

"James invited us to practice dueling with him and his friends tonight again. Are you girls able to come?" asked Lily. Both girls read the note after agreeing so they knew when and where they were meeting later that night.

"Oh and Lily do not worry we will let you have the first shot at Potter this time." Dorcas said as they said goodbye. Lily shook her head at Dorcas' silliness. Dorcas believed that Lily either was already secretly in love with James or would fall for his charm someday and made her opinion well known. Alice was the neutral and usually silent friend while Marlene tried to curb the teasing from Lily. At first, Lily had needed Marlene's help since she used to turn red when the teasing started. Fighting with James cured that problem for the most part. Now that they were not fighting Dorcas' teasing started anew. However, Lily liked the semi friendship that seemed to be starting and she was comfortable around him. Her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed what time it was and then headed to class.

"Alright, we have been doing this for long enough that you should all know what to do." Remus said later that night when everyone had met up at the Room of Requirement. Dorcas paired up with Sirius and pushed Marlene towards Remus. Marlene shrugged at Lily and sent an apologetic look. Lily smiled letting her friend know she was okay being paired up James. They faced each other with their wands ready.

"Alright Potter, go ahead. Knock me off my feet." Lily challenged. She almost laughed when she saw James try to hide his surprise. He frowned at her.

"You are going to pay for flirting just to distract me." James countered.

"Flirting!" Now Lily was the surprised one. She did not think that counted as flirting. She wasn't flirting with James. Next thing she knew she was flying across the room.

"Lily!" Her friends yelled as they ran towards her.

"It was a simple spell. She should have blocked it easily." Lily heard James rambling on about something. He was probably worried Dorcas would kick his butt for actually hurting Lily in a duel.

"What did you do to her?"shouted one of her friends as they pulled her up into sitting position.

"It wasn't his fault," Lily shook her head to clear it but stopped when the pain shoot through her head. "I was not paying attention. I got distracted."

"She should be taken to the infirmary." Marlene suggested when she saw Lily wince. Dorcas glared at James.

"Since he is the one who did it to her he can take her and explain how she got hurt." James winced but nodded in agreement. He stooped down and picked her up so that she was cradled in his arms. Lily sat up trying to put some distance between her and James.

"Stop that," James complained, "You are making it hard to carry you. That can't be comfortable, especially with a headache." He held her closer making her press against him in the way she had been trying to avoid. Lily gave up fighting him and relaxed into his arms. She even rested her head on his shoulder. She found herself thinking that this wasn't all that bad when James arrived the infirmary. She was glad they had finally got there, she was feeling dizzy. He laid her down on the nearest bed and went to find the madame to explain why Lily need attention.


	5. The Reason

**I only own my own creativity...**

**To the readers: Sorry for the wait it has been crazy for me lately and I have had a hard time with this story. Some days I just want to take it down, maybe I will just rewrite it. Hope you enjoy it. This Chapter is inspried by The Reason by Hoobastank.  
**

**BTW thanks to LaJaC for your encouragement here is the chapter you asked for.**

Lily walked out of the door of infirmary to find a familiar face waiting for her.

"Where are Dorcas and Marlene? I thought I heard their voices out here." James grimaced. They started walking back to their rooms.

"They were here demanding to know how I slipped up in practice." Lily shook her head. She should have known that it would look like James was responsible.

"Did you tell them it was my fault? I was the one who was playing around after all." James frowned at her telling her that he did not think it was her fault.

"This is exactly why I was against you joining. I am going to see it as my fault when you get hurt, whether I really at fault or not. I already have enough on my shoulders and I know you do not care really about me so I should not be putting my problems on you." James dragged his hand through his hair trying to get a hold of his emotions.

"That is why you did not want me on the team?" Lily asked, "I thought it was because I wasn't good enough."

"Of course not!" James interrupted, "I told you already you are a great witch. But being a great witch will not save you. More likely it will get you in more trouble and your death will leave me feeling helpless." Lily reached out and grabbed his arm stopping him.

"You talk as if it has already happened to you." Lily studied him closely.

"Maybe it has," James pulled away but Lily stepped in front of him this time placing her hands on his chest.

"Look, I know I have not earned your trust to treat me as a friend. But I am the one who is here right now. Please James let me help you." Lily pleaded.

"Why do you always have to help people? Why can't you leave it alone?" James snapped back pushing her hands off of him.

"Because whatever you are holding onto affects me. It makes you react the way you do towards me." Lily could tell though that James was not going to tell her. She sighed, "Fine if you will not tell me that then promise me you will answer my next question."

"As long as it has nothing to do with what we were talking about." He started off down the hall again and she caught up to him easily.

"Okay, why do you like me?" she asked hopefully it would put him back in a good mood.

"Seriously? That is easy. You are beautiful inside and out, smart, and funny. You do not give into me believe it or not is one of the reasons. Most things come easy to me or are just handed over because of who I am. You made me see how immature I was. I am still not a perfect person but I will continue learning to become better. I am sure that you will help with that." James took a breath to continue but was interrupted by Lily.

"You think I am beautiful?" she asked softly. He stopped again to look at her.

"That is all you go out of that? That I find you breathtaking? Do you not believe you are attractive?" The blush that color her cheeks confirmed his question. "Don't you know how many guys find you attractive? Most of them just do not have the guts to speak up."

"Why because you scare them off?" she replied trying to brush off the feeling in her chest. He chuckled gently.

"No, well maybe. I think your spit fire temper helps. Mainly, though I think it has to do with the fact that you do not seem to be all that interested in a relationship. Even when you dated those few guys you were very independent. Not saying that is a bad thing, maybe a better word would be aloof."

"And what good is it to loose yourself in love?" Lily asked accusingly her temper was starting to show now.

"Everything, if it is real." James countered quickly.

"How would you know?" Lily mocked him. "You are just a silly boy who believes in true love and happily ever after."

"That is it. You always push me away whenever I start to get close. That is why do not trust you enough to talk about what is bothering me. So before either of us says another hurtful thing that we will later regret, I am going back the rooms." But Lily turned around before he did and walked back towards her friends leaving James there shaking his head as yet again she ran away.

"Alice, wake up." Lily hissed after she closed the drapes around the bed and cast a silencing spell so the other girls would not wake up.

"Lily?" Alice asked sleepily, "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"I needed to talk to my best friend. I just had a fight with James again and..."

"At this hour? Can't you two get along long enough to sleep?"

"James agreed to help me with dueling so we were practicing tonight. I got distracted and ended up in the infirmary. He waited to walk me back to the rooms but we got into another fight and I stormed off." Lily fell onto the bed next to her friend with a huff.

"What made you loose your concentration during the duel?" Alice yawned still half asleep.

"Huh?" Lily pulled herself onto her elbow.

"What made you..." She started to repeat but was cut off by Lily.

"Alice, what does that how to do anything?" She whined at her friend sitting up now with her legs crossed.

"Well, in the first place I was just trying to follow what you were telling me but from your reaction I would say whatever distracted you is important. Now, before you get upset at me, you know I know you best. So you know I can tell when you are hiding something." Alice batted at Lily's leg.

"Oh really? Like when?" She batted back at Alice.

"Lily, it is late just tell me." She complained as she rolled away from Lily. It was quiet for a moment. Alice was starting to fade when Lily finally spoke up.

"I think I flirted with him." Alice sat straight up now wide awake.

"Okay," Alice said slowly, "I can see how that would be distracting." Lily moaned and threw herself back on the bed. "And what happened after you may have flirted with him part."

"He knocked me off my feet literally ergo the trip to the infirmary. And then on the way back to our rooms we fought." Lily was quiet again then, "Do you think I am falling for him?" Lily asked if she was scared of saying it aloud. Alice laid back down next to her friend.

"No, I think this would be too quick of a turn for you to go from just putting up with him to falling for him. Especially after what happened with that other boy who I am not allowed to name you have trust issues. Even just being friends with a guy may be hard for you. At the same time, maybe you finally forgave James for the past and that is letting you see him in a new light. Maybe now you are realizing why so many girls like him. But my guess is that the reason that you are getting upset about your fights with him is that he says hits too close to something that you do not want to face. Not that he actually as any idea really.

"Why do you say he has no idea?" Lily pondered

"Like the last fight you really got upset over when he found out that you were planning on becoming an auror. The things that he said made you think that he objected to you doing that because you were not good enough. That made you mad because you doubt yourself sometimes. No one likes to hear someone else voice their own doubts."

"Hm, he did that again tonight. He basically said that I am afraid to fall in love or at least that is what I took it as. So I called him a silly boy that believed in fairy tales." Alice laughed.

"You would too if you had his parents for your mom and dad. They are so in love. Growing up I always hoped I would have a marriage like theirs. James was heart broken when when they were killed." Lily's eyes opened wide.

"His parents were killed? When did this happen?" Alice sighed and rolled over again.

"Summer holiday after fifth year. James is alive thanks to the fact that he was not home. He was visiting Remus at the time." She explained.

"Bugger, that is what was bothering him. I have go." She jumped out of the bed. Alice went back to sleep knowing that Lily would explain later and there was no reason to loose sleep over whatever Lily just figured out.

She rushed back to the Heads rooms and into James' bedroom.

"James, wake up," Lily shook him. She sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Five more minutes, mom." He mumbled. Lily's giggle made his eyes open as he realized that it was not his mother trying to wake him up. He squinted at the figure next to him. "Lily? What is wrong?" He sat up and grabbed his wand and glasses. The lights came on enough that he could her.

"I came to say I am sorry." Lily answered looking down at her hands. She starting to regret that she had woke him up in the early hours of the morning to tell him something that could have waited. James laughed.

"You could not sleep until you said that you are sorry? Do not worry Evans you did not wound me too deeply. " He jested. She frowned at his usage of his last name. "What? Are you upset that I am not mad at you?"

"No, that would be silly." James smiled at her waiting to see if she would say more.

"Alright then, you said that you are sorry somewhat and I forgave you somewhat. So now we can both get some sleep." He said after it seemed like she was not going to say something else. Lily got up from her spot on the bed.

"I guess so. I will see at breakfast." He nodded as he yawned laying back down after turning off the lights. Lily went back to her room and finally went to sleep.


	6. Hands

I only own my own creativity...

While writing my next gen fic I realized that I was basically donw eith this chapter but I had not posted it. Sorry for the delay.

**Chapter 6 Hands **

**Somewhat inspired by Hands by Jewel. Enjoy**

James did see her at breakfast the next morning but he frowned when he saw who was next to her. It was Caradoc Dearborn, a fellow member of the Order and she was blushing at something he said.

"Looks like you have competition James," Peter said when he noticed why his friend had stopped in the middle of the Great Hall. He tugged on James sleeve so that he would sit down rather then keep staring at Lily and Caradoc awkwardly drawing attention to himself.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius who had just overheard the last part. He followed James' line of vision and saw what Peter had been referring to. "Do you really believe Lily will go out with him?" Sirius asked turning back to his friends. Peter shrugged.

"Not sure, but I noticed him watching her at the last few meetings. Of course he was not the only one." James finally turned away and started eating his breakfast. He looked up to see Sirius watching him. Remus sat down next to Sirius and noted the odd looks each friend had on their faces.

"Why is James glaring at Sirius?" Remus inquired after a beat. James' flickered back down to his plate but Sirius kept staring.

"Because Sirius is watching him like he is a bomb that could explode any moment." James growled as he played with his breakfast.

"I think Sirius is concerned since Lily being noticed by other guys." Peter nodded towards the other side of the table where Caradoc was still talking with her.

"And you are watching him because?" Remus turned towards Sirius.

"A watched pot never boils so if I watch James he will not do anything stupid." Even James laughed at Sirius' thinking which is what he intended really in the first place.

"I am fine Sirius." James reassured, "If Lily does not like me than what should stop her from going out with other guys?" Peter's eyes grew at James' question.

"If I did not know better I would say that it sounds like you are getting over our favorite red head." Remus mused. James shrugged his shoulders but kept playing with his food.

"Maybe he finally decided she isn't worth it." Peter offered trying to draw James out. James looked down the table once more towards Lily and shook his head.

"No, Pete she would be worth it if she liked me. Maybe I am just starting to see that she will never see me the way I want her to." James stood up and walked out of the Great Hall.

"Well, he took that better than I thought he would." Sirius commented as he snatched a pastry and then they all left.

A few weeks later Lily and James were working in their common room on their Head duties. Lily looked up from their work and finally asked the question that had been nagging her for over a week now.

"Would you hex Caradoc if I went with him to Hogsmeade?" When she saw James' expression she quickly started talking again before he could. "I know that you really have hexed anyone in a while and you only do pranks that are harmless now but the thought has been bugging me all week." She explained hoping that it would take away some of the hurt of the question. James went back to working on what he had been writing before.

"Why would I care if you go with Dearborn to Hogsmeade?" James said once he felt like he had calmed down.

"Well, first there is the fact that you have repeatedly asked me out," Lily said as she held up one finger.

"Yes, well maybe I finally got the message." James interrupted her list of reasons. "Besides if you are not going to say yes to me, why should I stop you from going out with someone else? Lily smiled sadly, reached over and covered his hand with hers. She gave his hand a squeeze but was still surprised when he flipped his hand over and squeezed back. He looked up again this time looking at her straight in the eyes."Do not worry about me and my school boy crush Lily. Worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. The war will get a lot more worse before it gets better."

"You sure have grown up James." She smiled warmly at him.

James really did not have much to worry about Caradoc. Lily did go to Hogsmeade with him but after that Caradoc went back to his usual seat during meals. There was much whispering on what had caused the change. Some speculated that James went back to his old ways and threatened him into no longer seeing Lily. Others decided that Lily was the one to blame though no one could agree on the why. Only Caradoc and Lily actually knew. The date had been nice for the both of them. However, when they kissed near the end of the date it was very clear to both of them them was really no chemistry between them. They both agreed that they should go their separate ways rather than dragging out the inevitable. So since guys usually do not talk about that sort of thing and Lily was not the type to kiss and tell no one else had a clue as to why the two were no longer spending time together. Though, one thing good thing that came out of all this was the change in the relationship between the Head Boy and Girl. Which is what Lily was thinking of when James caught her smiling during patrols.

"What are you to thinking about?" He asked then laughed when she jumped at the sound of his voice. She avoided the subject though not wanting to encourage him to pursue her.

"Shouldn't you be somewhere else?" She mused when she noticed the bright light shinning through the window ahead of them. He gave her a curious look out of the corner of his eye.

"Where else would I be?" She shook her head laughing softly.

"Do you really think I could that close to Remus and not figure it out?" He frowned down at her.

"I am not sure I know what you are referring to." He said trying to dodge her question.

"Oh come on James, maybe everyone else believes that Remus' furry problem is about a rabbit but not me. Of course, I am not the only one who knows. I am sure you know that Severus..." She stopped when she saw his face turned white and his fists clenched. She waited while he recovered.

"How long have you known? Did Remus tell you or was it Snape?" He asked once he had calmed down however he still spat out Snape's name like it was the most disgusting taste in his mouth.

"Remus told me but only after I asked him back at the beginning of fifth year. I wouldn't have asked but I figured if we volunteered for certain nights no one would suspect him being missing from patrols."She smiled, "It was only after I gave that reasoning that he told me. Though it was even harder to convince him that I did not mind. He mumbled something about how I was the fourth student to continue being his friend. I imagine you three must have figured it out much sooner since you are close friends and share a room." She smiled shyly up at him. He relaxed visibly and smiled back at her.

"We figured it out in second year. Wait," the smile turned into a frown, "What did you mean by having somewhere else to be?" James stopped walking so that he could see her face. Remus would have told them if someone else knew their secret. Besides Remus would never do something like that. Though James would have thought that Remus would have told him that Lily knew his secret. She shrugged at his question.

"Well, I am not too sure what happens but I do know that you disappear around the same time as Remus..." James cut her off.

"You have no clue as to what we do but you are not freaking out about it?" He stared at her as if he watched long enough he would understand her, "Most people would be concern about others who might be sneaking off with a werewolf or in your case the rules that we are breaking." Lily looked out the window again at the full moon.

"Well, whatever it is it has to be safe to some degree otherwise Remus would not allow it." She turned back to him, "Besides, who do you think takes care of him when you guys are sleeping? I help out in the infirmary because of my ability in potions and once Remus admitted that I knew they let me help out." She looked forward then started walking again and James fell in step with her wanting to hear more. "We talk sometimes and he let it slip one time that you somehow help him during the full moon. Even talk about you sometimes." she said peering at him out of the corner of her eye with her head slightly turned towards him. "I do not expect you to tell me all your secrets James. I just wanted to let you know you do not have to stay here with me. I know you want to be with Remus."

"It is okay. Remus knows why I will be late and he is fine with it. He thinks it shows that I am growing up. Either way Sirius has a way of contacting me if they need my help. So I can do both."

"Well at least now you will not have to lie to me or make up excuses when you need to be there for your friends."

"To the you the truth I was really worried about you figuring out something. I think of you as a friend so I trust you but it is not just my live that this affects. I am glad that you can be there for Remus while we sleep it off. Peter is good in potions as you know so he usually gives us all something to help us recover but it knocks us out..." James trailed off when he realized he might be saying too much but Lily let it go. Knowing he trusted her was enough for her though she could not say why it meant so much to her. All she knew was that the last hour of patrolling passed quickly and she had to tell herself not to worry when he left her at the front doors. She turned and headed back to their rooms. She pulled out her wand at the sound of running feet but before she could turn two long arms wrapped around her.

"Thank you Lily." He whispered in her ear and then he was gone again.


	7. What if You

**What if You by Joshua Radin**

Lily woke up to the sound of screaming coming from James' room. She jumped out of bed after grabbing her wand and rushed into his room. James was thrashing in his bed as if he were fighting some unseen foe. Lily shook him awake but watched out for his flailing arms to make sure he did not attack her.

"James wake up it was just a bad dream." Lily said as he was coming to. He heard her and stopped fighting. His eyes were full of fear. He took in that he had been dreaming as his chest heaved rapidly.

"I was too late, "He said once he had caught his breath. He pushed himself up into sitting position and looked around the room, "Death Eaters attacked your house and we didn't make it in time." He looked up at her then crushed her in a hug, "You were dead." he muttered to himself but she still heard him. She rubbed his back awkwardly and tried to comfort him.

"It was just a dream. Nothing more than a dream." She whispered.

"It felt real as real as you feel right now. How do I know this isn't a dream?" He pleaded with her as he released her.

"If this was a dream I have the feeling we wouldn't be just talking." She smiled at him in the darkness trying to lighten the mood. "At least if it was your dream that is." She got up off the bed and opened the drapes letting the moonlight into the room. She stayed by the window looking up at the moon.

"It could start out with talking." James played along letting his suggestion say more than he did. Then he asked seriously, "Would you mind staying here a little while? You don't have to stay here if I fall back to sleep..." Lily turned back towards him.

"Sure just for tonight I will lay here with you," She paused for a moment dramatically then said, "if you move over" She pushed him making him chuckle with her answer. He obliged her by making room for her on the bed. She laid down next to him and got comfortable. "So how are your classes going?" Lily asked breaking the silence after a moment.

"You should know since you are beating me in all of them." James laughed as Lily groaned.

"I figured that would a safe topic." Lily muttered. James propped himself on one elbow.

"Are there any safe topics for us?" He challenged wagging his eyebrows at her.

"Maybe not but I can at least try sometimes unlike you. At any rate I made you laugh several times already." Lily pointed out.

"True," James admitted as he rolled back flat on the bed. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"You just asked me a question," Lily joked then grimaced, "That sounded like something Sirius would say. Okay I will be sincere now. Ask your question."

"Would you miss me if I was gone?" James asked staring at the ceiling.

"Well, that is a rather sober line of thought at least in connection to your dream." She turned to watch him, "I am guessing you would miss me so you are wondering if I would." James nodded. "Truthfully no matter what the circumstance for you not being around anymore I believe I would notice you were not there. Though I think I would have been able to say the same thing last year." Lily smirked at that thought. "However for very different reasons." She said quickly when it dawned on her how that could be hurtful.

"Yes, well I will admit I haven't always been the most charming person to be around at times." James drawled. "So are you looking forward to going home tomorrow?"

"Of course I am. Christmas is my favorite time of year." Lily smiled at the memories of Christmas past.

"Would you mind if I came to see you? Maybe I could take you home." James offered.

"Why would you want to take me to your home?" Lily asked curiously. He hadn't pursued her for some time now so she had assumed that he was doing that he had mentioned once and was in the process of getting over her.

"Just in case something ever happens you can have a place to run to for help." James explained hopefully.

"James it was just a dream." Lily replied making him sigh.

"Just the same I would feel better if you would let me. I could come to your house sometime during the holiday." James said tiredly.

"Alright but you have to be on your best behavior. My sister is against all things magical." Lily rolled off the bed. "I am going back to my bed now. See you on the train tomorrow morning." Lily called back as she left his room.

The next day on the train...

James, Remus, Peter and Sirius were comparing plans for the holiday when Lily came to their compartment.

"I changed my mind, Potter," Lily announced as she sat down on the bench across from him. "You can take me to see your house today rather than popping by whenever you feel like it." Sirius gave her a disapproving frown.

"Lily, how hard is it to call him by his first name?" Sirius tutted. James smiled and shook his head at Sirius.

"It is okay Sirius. Lily is just worries that her true feelings would become obvious if she used my first name." James teased grinning. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Only in your imagination James." Lily quipped avoiding the use of dreams. "So does today work for you or not? My parents are fine with not picking me up if I am going with a friend." Lily said trying to get James back on topic. Besides not wanting James to randomly show up at her home, she had the feeling that he would feel better once she knew where his house was.

"Did you hear that? They're friends!" Peter teased making Lily roll her eyes again. "One of these days your eyes are going to get stuck up there." Peter warned.

"Today works," James interrupted before Lily decided to hex Peter. "You can come home with me and Sirius."

"Well, now that is settled I will go back..." Lily said standing up.

"You should stay Lily," Remus spoke up. Lily made a face at him but he wouldn't drop it. "Come on, it wouldn't kill you to spend some time with us outside of Order stuff." Lily looked thoughtful for a moment.

"You never know, it just might kill me." She smiled but still sat back down. "So now what?" She asked. Peter pulled out his set of gobstones and they passed the time playing games for the rest of the ride.


	8. Remembering Sunday

**This chapter was already half written so you get a quick update. This chapter is inspired by Remembering Sunday by All Time Low. Enjoy!**

Lily stood at the gate staring at the house. Sirius turned back to glance at her.

"Come on, Evans, the house will not bite you." Sirius teased her. Lily glared at him then followed him to the door. James let them both in.

"Sirius and I will show you around in just a minute we have to go put are stuff away first." James explained before heading for the stairs.

"Yes, or otherwise Dorea will not be happy." Sirius said with a grin as he headed for the stairs.

_Oh great_, Lily thought to herself, _they just left me down here on my own. This isn't awkward at all. And who is Dorea? _ Movement caught her eye and she turned to see some family photographs. She smiled at the ones of younger James. Most of them were family pictures but there were a few where James was up to no good or with his friends. _Well, I can see where James gets his looks from_ Lily thought as she glanced at what had to be a family photograph. _It is so sad that his parents died already._

"Who are you?" Lily whirled around at the sound of a male voice. It was the man from the family photograph was all Lily had the chance to take in before she blacked out.

Lily could make out voices as she struggled in the darkness.

"I am sure she will be fine, son." An older man said. She heard footsteps fading.

"Yes, well it is not usual for Lily to faint." James said nervously.

"I think she is waking up." Sirius observed as Lily frowned. Her eyes opened and she looked around. She seemed to be in a library with James and Sirius. She didn't see the man from before.

"Lily! You are okay." James smiled down at her. She sat up with his help. "You fainted." James said as she settled in.

"I thought I saw a ghost." Lily said weakly. Sirius laughed.

"You attend a school with ghosts and even have a ghost for a teacher." Sirius taunted her. "What was so frightening about this one?"

"It was James' dad." Lily protested. James and Sirius frowned at her.

"James's dad isn't dead." Sirius stated.

"Not yet anyways." Lily looked towards the voice to see a middle aged man in the door that resembled James. He walked towards her and took her hand. "Charlus Potter or James' father as you already know me." He said introducing himself. Lily blushed slightly feeling rather silly for fainting in front of him and thinking he was a ghost.

"Why did you think my dad was dead?" James pondered looking at her quizzically.

"Alice told me earlier this year that both of your parents were dead." Lily admitted "She told me you had died at the end of James' fifth year." Lily said to Mr. Potter.

"My wife, Dorea and I went into hiding at that time hoping that it would keep our family safe from the war. However, Dorea is longer with us." Mr. Potter explained sadly. Lily frowned in confusion.

"Dorea? Didn't you mention her when you were going up the stairs earlier, Sirius?" Lily inquired.

"Yes, well she still watches over us and scolds us from the portrait in the hallway." Sirius explained uneasily but still manage a smile.

"I believe these young men were planning on showing you around the house." Charlus suggested breaking the silence.

"Right, the house." James pulled her off the lounge chair and onto her feet. "So we are in the library..."

A few hours later Lily said good bye and headed home. It was a good thing she went to his house that day because before the holiday break was over James' nightmare came true.

He hadn't made it in time. He should have listened to his instincts sooner. Instead he was standing in the Evans household over the bodies. Somewhere in the distance he could hear screaming but it seemed so far away as he stood over Lily's parents. He was brought back to reality when Remus shook him.

"James!" he said forcefully to get his friend's attention. "You have to stay alert, others may be here but we need you to be aware of what is going on. Now where is Sirius?" James looked around at his surroundings feeling lost. Where was Lily? He hadn't seen her at all. He had finally decided to to go the Evans' when he couldn't brush aside the feeling of something was wrong. Sirius went with him thankfully, otherwise he might have faced the Death Eaters alone. Sirius had sent a message to the Order quickly before running after James into the house.

"He got hurt. There were too many of them. We got here in time to help her sister but her parents..." his voice dropped off as he looked down again. Remus dragged him away into another room, which turned out to be the kitchen but did not turn on the lights for safety reasons. He took the robes off of James to see how bad the damage was. Peter entered from the other side.

"I found Sirius." Peter announced, "He is badly hurt so they already took him away. How are you doing, James?"

"I will be fine." James said shrugging Remus off. "Have they found Lily?" Peter looked down and then shook his head. James ignored the calls of his friends as he ran outside. It was late at night but he did not care.

"Lily! Lily Evans!" He called desperately over and over again. He did not care if he woke the neighbors. He did not even care if the death eaters found him again. He had to find her. She had to be alive. She had to be okay. He stopped, his chest heaving and he was bent over, to catch his breath when he noticed it had started to rain. "Lily!" he tried to call again his voice was hoarse already. He whirled around when he heard footsteps running behind him.

"James," Remus wheezed as he fought to catch his breath, "Found Lily, at your house" Remus was still trying to breath normally when James caught him in a quick hug then he let go just before he apparated. "You're welcome." he said to no one once he caught his breath then headed back to where Peter and the rest of the Order would be waiting.

James reappeared outside his house and started yelling right away as he raced into the house

"Dad! Dad where are you?" He called out as he ran towards his room. His father stepped out when he heard James and caught in a fierce hug.

"She is fine son. They didn't harm her. She resting in your bed." He said knowing what James needed to hear. He walked with James to the room then left him alone. There was Lily curled up on his bed hugging a pillow to her stomach. Her eyes opened when she heard him whisper her name. He crossed the room and crushed her in his arms.

"James I am fine but if you don't easy up I might pass out. " Lily joked trying to be strong even if it was just for a moment.

"How did you get here? How did they not get you?" He pulled back to see her face but still held onto her tightly.

"I was coming home when I heard the screaming. I knew I wouldn't last by myself so I came here hoping to get help but you were gone. I found your dad and told him what happened. He told me to stay here and went to contact you. Are they dead?" She asked but did not want to know.

"We saved your sister but we got there too late..." He couldn't say what they were too late for but she understood. She sniffed then snorted as she tried her best not to cry. Her face was already flushed from holding back the emotions and she could feel a headache coming on.

"Hey," James said softly, "You don't have to be strong in front of me. Go ahead cry your eyes." Lily laughed through her tears finally letting it all out. James held her close and murmured quietly as she cried. She had fallen asleep when an owl arrived with more bad news. Lily's parents were not the only victims of that night unfortunately. One name stood out among the others as James looked over the letter that was meant for both him and Lily but he did not have the heart to wake he up just to give her more bad news. Not only would Lily be missing a fellow seventh year Gryffindor in her dorm but also her partner in the Order.


	9. Chapter 9

**Alright, here is the next chapter. The next chapter should have a kiss between James and Lily so there is something to look forward to. Enjoy.**

"Well, it looks like Lily will have a new partner after all." Sirius sat down defeated in the hallway outside of the study as the Potter's house.

"They suspended you?" James asked in disbelief staring at Sirius. It was two days after the fight at Lily's house. Dumbledore and Moody had arrived earlier that morning to talk to James and Sirius about what happened. It was then that Moody and Dumbledore had told asked to talk to Sirius alone. James had paced in front of the study as Moody and Sirius talked. Apparently, one of the death eaters had died in the attack. After talking to both of the boys about what happened, Moody guessed that it was Sirius who had killed him. He hadn't done it on purpose of course. The Death Eater had been sneaking up on James when Sirius caught him and sent him flying through the air. The Death Eater had hit the wall and didn't move after that but in the middle of the fight neither James nor Sirius had noticed. Since it was an accidental killing Sirius wasn't in much trouble. He was just suspended until the matter was further looked into or at least that was what Moody had told him.

"Dumbledore told me that Lily has been temporary assigned as your partner. I guess he thought it would make me feel better knowing you would still have a great partner." Sirius explained but James still didn't like what he was saying.

"No, she can't be my partner." James protested. "Her parents just died! She just spent the day crying in my room. I can't go into the battle with her right beside me. She would only be a distraction. Bloody hell, there is no way that Evans will ever be my partner."

"Why? Because I am not good enough?" Lily called out from down the hallway. Sirius could tell she had only heard the last part of the conversation. She stood glaring at both of them with her arms crossed and her legs shoulder's width apart. James and Sirius had both seen this stance enough to know that Lily was pissed. "I can protect myself you know. You don't have to baby sit me." James didn't even try to correct her. Maybe if she was angry at him she would badger Moody into letting her change partners. Sirius knew better though. No matter how much either of them begged and plead James and Lily were now stuck with each other.

"Lily, may I speak with you privately?" Sirius asked glaring at James. Lily tossed her head indignantly but still walked in the study. Sirius followed her in and shut the door behind him.

"Why do you always have to jump to conclusions about my dear friend James?" Sirius lectured. "He was only protesting because he is used to his best friend being the one to watch his back. Now you have to promise me that you will do your best to look after him in a fight. He worries about you because he cares about you. So no matter how good you are, which you are pretty brilliant, you are a distraction." Lily huffed and lost the fight to smile.

"I promise I will do my best but I know I am not you." Lily agreed tentatively. "So you better help me out…"

"Oh no Evans. If you are going to be his partner you have to be confident. This is why his new partner needs to be you. You are one of the few people who can totally stand up to James. Just be you and you'll be fine." Sirius reassured her.

"Thank you." Lily smiled friendly at him. "Now you have a friend that probably needs to talk to you." Lily motioned for him to leave to go find James. Sirius stepped outside to find James missing. He had run off to try and talk some sense into Moody and Dumbledore but there was nothing he could do. There was no argument they didn't counter. James finally let them go and headed off for a fly on his broom to clear his head. Lily stayed in the study after Sirius left her and looked through the shelves of books that lined the walls.

"Lily," Mr. Potter came in, "I would like to extend the invitation for you to stay with us here if you would like that. I do not want you to feel that you have to stay so if there is everywhere else you would like to stay the rest of the holiday just let me know."

"Thank you Mr. Potter. You are too kind." He shook his head quickly.

"I remember what it is like to loss your parents. No matter how they pass away it is never easy if you don't hate them." He added thinking ruefully of Sirius and his parents. Lily nodded her agreement. "Let me know when you make a decision." He left her alone to think over his offer.

In the end, Lily decided to stay with the Potters. She did go to visit her sister but Petunia had been against anything magical before. Now she hated it and therefore wanted nothing to do with Lily. In addition to all of what had already happened James was now avoiding her. He was polite when she did see him but that was hardly ever. Lily couldn't wait to get back to school. Maybe then she could throw herself into something that could distract her from her parents' death and the fact that James now wanted nothing to do with her. Sirius on the other hand was being extra nice. He brought her hot coco at night and talked to her while they looked up at the night sky. He also helped her with keeping her reflexes sharp for the Order. She needed something to push back the numbness. Not even talking to Alice who came to visit as soon as she knew where Lily was helped all that much.


	10. Come What May

**Sorry I haven't posted in awhile but I was was having trouble with how to write what I want to write. Anyways here is the next chapter and since the next chapter is a one shot that I already wrote it should be up soon. I just need to look over it again before posting it as a chapter in Better days. After that I am not sure what will happen really but either way I have the feeling that this story is coming to the end soon**.

"I have a really bad feeling about this." Lily whispered to James. He made a noise to let her know that he heard her. Lily felt like sighing but she held it in. James had changed greatly since they became partners. She never knew where she stood with him because one minute he would be cold towards her and then she would turn around to found him staring at her so intensely. Half the time he was either ignoring her or snapping at her and the other half he was so sweet and attentive. He was worse than a girl during _that_ time of the month Lily thought to herself right before she giggled at the thought. Though right now was not the best time to be distracted she thought as she shook herself. They were in middle of a mission. Moody didn't think that it was truly dangerous but that didn't stop him from giving them, and the rest of the Order that was searching the manor house that was once owned by some man named Tom Riddle that was somehow connected to Lord Voldemort, his usual speech on how they must always be alert. They were here right before school break ended because Dumbledore was concerned that this place might be housing a group of death eaters.

Lily was starting to relax when a yell came from below. James and Lily rushed to the banister and peered down the three flights down to the first floor. A scream of torture sounded from the basement as someone ran quickly up the stairs.

"They're here!" Benjy Fenwick cried as he made it to the ground floor. He turned quickly to face the death eaters that were now on the first floor. The sound of popping filled the air as the death eaters apparated throughout the house. Lily jumped into the the fray and fought well until she was injured with a slash to the left arm. It wasn't too bad but still it was getting harder to concentrate while dealing with the pain in her arm.

"You are being careless." James said darkly as he caught up to her again. He knocked the last death eater in sight unconscious and pulled her away from the fight.

"Why would you care?" Lily hissed as he healed her arm. "You have been ignoring me off and on for almost two weeks now."

"Because it is easier that way to ignore my feelings for you." James cursed himself silently. This was not the time to be discussing feelings.

"Well, you sure picked a fantastic way to show how much you care." Lily jerked her now healed arm out of his hand. She turned to walk out of the room but was whipped back into his arms.

"Never doubt that I care Lily. I promise you that I will love until my dying day." His voice was full of emotions. Lily started to say something but was cut of as James stopped her mouth with a kiss. It was one of those kisses that she had seen in the movies. The kind where time slows down and the rest of the world fades into the background. Lily wasn't thinking this of course since the kiss was mind numbing and was so good it did not allow her to think. Which was a good thing because she would have been shocked by how she had her hands and arms wrapped around him. James broke the kiss and quickly kissed her nose before slipping out the door. The sounds outside of the room did nothing to pull her back to the present. After a moment she followed him out of the room, but she did not check for enemies before leaving the room. All she saw was James. She called out to him and he turned back to see her smile. The smiled that turned confused when he frowned at her. He threw a curse that barely missed her. She turned to find a death eater right behind her. Before she could really react though James had pushed her aside and picked a fight with the death eater. Who ever was under the mask was powerful and quickly had James retreating. Lily barely had the time to scream a warning before one of the curses knocked James back and over the banister. Later Lily would not be able to say how she defeated the death eater. Remus one day would joke that the sight of James' being hurt had made something inside of her snap. Whatever the case, soon Lily was standing over the death eater after casting a full body bind. She could tell from the sounds around that more of the Order had arrived and the fight was drawing to an end. She ran to the edge to see what had happened James but his body wasn't where it should be. For a moment she thought maybe he had not fallen but then she saw Remus standing on the ground level. The expression on his face let her know that it had happened. Something made him look up at that moment and she swore that she could see the disappointment in his eyes. She came down the stairs once it was safe to join the rest of the order. Peter saw her and rushed to her side.

"They already took him to St. Mungo's hospital, Lily." He said in a hushed voice when he was close enough. "Will you come with us?" Lily nodded slowly. She was torn between going to the hospital and returning to the Potter's. She didn't want to face Sirius either way because she had broke her promise. For some reason this thought made her think of the last thing James had said to her. She quickly said a prayer that James' dying day was far, far away.


	11. Things Left Unsaid

**I own only my creativity...**

Lily arrived at St. Mungo's with Remus and Peter. Sirius and Mr. Potter were already there. Sirius glared at Lily while Mr. Potter told them that James was in critical care. They all decided to watch over him. Eventually Remus and Peter were called back to report in to Moody. Lily decided to take a walk since James hadn't woken up still and Sirius was not moving from his side. At some point Lily fell asleep in a chair outside the room. While she slept James woke up. After spending some time with his son Mr. Potter left but only after James told him that he was fine and didn't want his father hovering over him.

"Alright," Sirius said once they were alone. "What in Merlin's name did you do? Evans looks guilty but for some reason that makes me think that it was your fault." James stared at the bed sheets.

"I'd rather not talk about it." James replied quietly. "It was really stupid and it almost got Lily hurt."

"So you let yourself get distracted by her just as you thought you would." Sirius stated trying to figure out what had happened.

"No, I was a complete idiot and _I_ got both of us distracted near the end of the fight." James berated himself.

"Let me guess you declared your feelings for her." Sirius joked sarcastically. James looked away in guilt. Sirius' jaw dropped in surprise. "You seriously told her that you love her in the middle of a fight? Your healers better check your head before they release you." James rolled his eyes at this remark.

"Is Lily okay?" James asked. "I was dueling a strong death eater right before I fell."

"She is fine and from what I hear she captured that death eater and he is being questioned." James smiled proudly. "She is here, sleeping out in the hallway in fact. She must think I am mad at her otherwise she would have been in here when you woke up I am sure."

"She is probably just waiting to slap me for kissing her." James said grouchily. Sirius laughed loudly.

"Was the kiss before or after your declaration of love?" Sirius drawled having too much fun teasing James.

"Before." James muttered making Sirius laugh again but he stopped when he noticed James was looking worn out again.

"Alright, you just lay back and rest for five minutes and then I will send Lily in. You two have much to talk about and you better apologize for being a imbecile since her parents died." Sirius got up and left as James slipped back into sleep.

Sirius had finally left Lily alone with James. He was her partner now but that is the reason James was in a hospital bed now. She should have protested becoming his partner more when Sirius got hurt. She had only agreed because it was temporary. She had only thought of why it was a bad idea for her and not how it could get James hurt. As much as she wanted to take all the blame for James getting hurt during the raid, she knew without a doubt James would say it was really his fault.

"Come on Lily, you know it is not your fault." She could almost hear him say, "I am the one who made us distracted. I could have gotten both of us killed."

It was bad enough that she would have explain to Moody why they were not constantly vigilant. That of course would bring up what distracted them. Hopefully James would wake up before she had to meet with Moody. That way he would be the one to face the embarrassment of telling their superior that he got himself hexed over a kiss. Lily leaned forward in her chair and took James' hand into hers.

"You really are a nitwit getting hurt like this. Maybe it is your fault though. If you hadn't kissed me while we were hiding and then rushed off to play hero, perhaps I would have noticed the death eater sneaking up behind me. Why did you have to notice in time to push me out of the way? I should be the one in that bed you berk." Lily sighed as she rubbed her head tiredly.

"If you really want to be in the bed, then by all means jump in." Lily's head shot up making her headache even worse. James' eyes were open and focused on her.

"You're awake!" Lily's joy sank as quickly as it had jumped, "Wait how long have you been conscious?"

"I talked to Sirius earlier. I guess he didn't tell you I had woken once already."

"So you were not playing another prank on me?" Lily jumped up "I am just supposed to believe you that Sirius somehow forgot that he talked to you. You two are unbelievable…"

"Lily, I did not tell Sirius not to tell you I was awake." James grabbed her wrist to make sure she did not run off like she usually did. "He wanted to know what happened, what I did to almost get myself killed while he was not there to watch my back."

"Ah, so the problem was your new partner wasn't watching your back." Lily wrenched her wrist out of his grasp. "Of course, Sirius would never you get hurt." Lily sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. James sighed knowing this talk would have to wait. Fighting with Lily was taking more out of him than Sirius' interrogation.

"Sirius couldn't have distracted me like you did. I would have been awake when you came in but talking with Sirius tired me out. I awoke to your talking. Now, let me talk before I lose the strength to. I don't know why Sirius did not tell you I was fine but…"

"What do you mean Sirius wouldn't have distracted you? You are the one that kissed me. Or do you usually kiss your partner in the middle of a death eater attack?"

"Miss Evans, you can not stay in here if you are going to yell at my patient." The Medi-witch interrupted.

"She was just leaving. We will talk about this later." Said James before Lily could reply. Lily huffed and walked out the door.


End file.
